“I know that I’m not perfect
And that I don’t claim to be.
So before you point your fingers,
Be sure your hands are clean.
Before you judge yourself.”
I know a fabulous young woman.
She has been a friend of my son’s for many years and if I were to have had a daughter, I would hope she’d be like this woman. Kind, talented, smart, adventurous, a good friend, caring…she’s great.
This young woman had something she wanted to tell her family – she wasn’t sure how they would react but she loved them and wanted to let them know. She was in love with a woman.
Having a sibling who is gay, I know from whence I speak, this is never easy. Telling those you love the most that the one you love the most is not whom they imagined must be so hard. The fears of rejection and imagined outcomes must cause physical as well as mental pain. Everyone wants to be loved for who they are, I know I do.
Here’s where the heartbreak comes in, her family did not accept this lovingly…in fact, they did not accept it all – they disowned her. This wonderful, loving, kind daughter was turned away. Even as I write this, the tears come.
The gift of a child is something none of us is ever ready for, nor do we deserve the unconditional love which they give to us. On the flip side, our children absolutely deserve unconditional love from their parents. We are supposed to be their shelter, their safe place to land, their firm foundation in life.
I know she will be okay. She has surrounded herself with people who are quality people, just like her. They will love her through this. But as for her folks, they are the ones I worry about. Someday they will realize that while they each pointed their accusing finger at their lovely daughter, three fingers of their own were pointing back at them. The judgment we heap upon others comes back at us three fold.
As a Christian I believe God tells me to love, not judge. Simple. Judging is His job. Phew!
So I’d ask you to send up a prayer for her family. Pray that they realize what a treasure they have cast off before it’s too late. Oh, and hug your kids every chance you get.