Judge Not

finger

“I know that I’m not perfect
And that I don’t claim to be.
So before you point your fingers,
Be sure your hands are clean.
Judge not
Before you judge yourself.”
~Bob Marley

I know a fabulous young woman.  

She has been a friend of my son’s for many years and if I were to have had a daughter, I would hope she’d be like this woman.  Kind, talented, smart, adventurous, a good friend, caring…she’s great.

This young woman had something she wanted to tell her family – she wasn’t sure how they would react but she loved them and wanted to let them know.  She was in love with a woman.

Having a sibling who is gay, I know from whence I speak, this is never easy. Telling those you love the most that the one you love the most is not whom they imagined must be so hard.  The fears of rejection and imagined outcomes must cause physical as well as mental pain.  Everyone wants to be loved for who they are, I know I do.

Here’s where the heartbreak comes in, her family did not accept this lovingly…in fact, they did not accept it all – they disowned her.  This wonderful, loving, kind daughter was turned away.  Even as I write this, the tears come.

The gift of a child is something none of us is ever ready for, nor do we deserve the unconditional love which they give to us.  On the flip side, our children absolutely deserve unconditional love from their parents.  We are supposed to be their shelter, their safe place to land, their firm foundation in life.

I know she will be okay.  She has surrounded herself with people who are quality people, just like her.  They will love her through this.  But as for her folks, they are the ones I worry about.  Someday they will realize that while they each pointed their accusing finger at their lovely daughter, three fingers of their own were pointing back at them.  The judgment we heap upon others comes back at us three fold.

As a Christian I believe God tells me to love, not judge.  Simple.  Judging is His job. Phew!

So I’d ask you to send up a prayer for her family.  Pray that they realize what a treasure they have cast off before it’s too late.  Oh, and hug your kids every chance you get.

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2 thoughts on “Judge Not

  1. Another blogger wrote a post recently about those who find themselves “in the shadow of Zion” and this sort of situation is the thought that immediately came to my mind. I get it. No one wants to wink at sin. (well, except our own pet sins.) Exiling our own into the shadows, throwing them away into the darkness of the world… how exactly does that reveal God in the midst of their situation?
    I know, Paul turned so-and-so “over to Satan” and maybe someone will say “the father let the prodigal go make his mistakes” or whatever. Great. If that’s you (not you, the author of this post, but you, the person pushing someone into the shadows), I have one thing to say:
    You better be ready to RUN to that child, that friend, that sibling. You better be ready to throw your arms around them in all their filth and dirt when they need you. You better be prepared to drop everything and rejoice if they return. And they better know the door is open.

  2. I understand where you’re coming from sonworshiper. I have many fundamentalist friends who have a problem with me, a fundamental Christian, loving those who they perceive as “sinners”. Like you said, people love to rank sin and put theirs at the bottom of the list. That’s why the only Judge is meant to be God. Yes, run to that child every time. Love them where you meet them. Throw your arms around them and celebrate. Indeed, we are those children.

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