Elderly Monogamist Helpmate Tarradiddles

old-wivesThe original title of this entry was “Old Wives’ Tales,” but due to the uproar such a stereotypical title produced, I have chosen the politically correct path.  Henceforth, I will refer to these gems of wisdom as EMHTs.

EMHTs started receiving a great deal of ridicule because of their source.  Old woman were thought to be nonsensical creatures who were not to be believed.  Their stories over the years were followed religiously by some, while treated as whimsical hokum by others.

Here are a few of my favorites – some have proven to be true while others are just plain silly.  You be the judge.

  • If your right ear itches, someone is saying something nice about you. If it’s the left, someone’s saying something bad about you. (I think this depends on who’s whispering in your ear at the time.)



  • Hanging a horseshoe above the door to any home will bring good luck to all who live there. (Unless you’re the one it falls upon as you pass under it.)



  • You shouldn’t jog. It jumbles up your insides. (I’m not sure about the insides, but I’ve a seen some people’s outsides jumbling as they jog and I’d like to erase that from my memory.)

fat jogger


  • What you say about other people’s children, you’ll get back in your own. (If we’d learn to heap encouragement upon others – this wouldn’t happen.)



  • Tell a bad man (everyday) that he’s a good man, and he’ll become a good man. (We write on the slate of souls when we speak words to one another – good words will always bring better outcomes.)


  • Chicken soup is good for the soul. (Especially if your mom makes it.)


  • Drinking warm milk makes you sleepy. (If it happens to have cocoa and sugar in it as well, you will also fall asleep smiling.)



  • We only use 10% of our brains.  (Sadly, for some this is a fact.)


I hope you enjoyed these Elderly Monogamist Helpmate Tarradiddles and have learned a thing or two.  Perhaps not.  Perhaps they just made you smile a bit.  Either way it’s a win.


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