The Art of Being Sick

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It started as a cold.  I can tackle a cold with both hands tied behind my back.  No problem. Somewhere along the line the cold morphed into something else.  Now I’m powerless and a pretty big baby.

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“It’s going around.”  That’s the mantra of the day.  My friends around the country are afflicted too – call it the flu or the crud – it’s here. No doubt it’s in your neck of the woods too, so today’s topic is:  The Art of Being Sick.

  • If you are ill, don’t try to trump the symptoms of others with yours.  You aren’t the first one to have whatever it is you have.  When your friends tell you about their symptoms, nod and smile. Inside you’ll know yours is worse.

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  • Accept advice with a smile.  Friends and family will give you a lot of advice about how to feel better.  When you are met with choruses of “eat chicken soup,” act as though you’ve never thought of the idea before.  Your acting skills may garner you some homemade broth.

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  • Don’t be champion and go to work anyway.  Your co-workers will soon be plotting your demise, hence defeating the act of getting better.

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  • When you go to the doctor, and you eventually will, do whatever the doctor tells you to do.  Don’t tell the doctor you don’t need any medication because you already have chicken soup.  They don’t like that and you might end up getting a shot – not because it’s what you need most, just because you’ve annoyed the heck out of the doctor.

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  • Get plenty of rest, but don’t go around the house groaning.  You know who you are. So does your wife.

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  • Don’t tell everyone that you are “sicker than a dog”.  It isn’t accurate in its description and it annoys the heck out of dogs.

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That’s a good place to start.  Now buck up, little soldier.  This too shall pass.  In the meantime – here’s a video of Sheldon Cooper being a prime example of how NOT to act when you are sick.  Once it’s over, have someone sing “Soft Kitty” to you and all will be well.

Gesundheit!

 

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