It was an irrational fear, I realize, yet it was very real and all consuming. If, God forbid, I had to go into the basement at night, I broke land records getting up the stairs lest something catch me. I slept with a light on.
As I became an adult who came to embrace sleep, I quickly let that go. At least, I thought I let that go.
Darkness took on a new form for me as an adult, it became a concept more than an actual occurrence. Things such as relationships, jobs, illness and death became stressful and frightening. I could not out run those, I had to face them.
I remember the turning point, I had moved from a place of doubt to a place of faith. Funny thing is, when I moved…fear of the darkness stayed behind. I am ever grateful for that.
When my husband and I were designing our backyard landscape, we knew we wanted a place where we could sit and watch the stars. This small area, complete with a big swing and a bonfire pit, became a favorite place for us. To sit outside at night and watch the bats chasing mosquitoes as the sun set, to hear the frogs sing their courting songs, to listen to the crickets in symphony, and to see the stars bloom out of the darkness was a beautiful, memorable time for us.
In life, we need to realize that there is nothing in the dark that can harm us that the light cannot overcome. Sometimes the light that shines upon us is nearly blinding. Sometimes we only see the light in little pinprick holes. Yet, there it is – shining upon us and giving us hope.
Suddenly, the very same darkness that once tormented me was now a comfort.